Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
