I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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