You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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