she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
