so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
