So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
