My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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