That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
