It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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