How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
