Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
