Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
