gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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