Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
