Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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