Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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