I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
