u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
