dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
