take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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