1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He did a backflip because drugs
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
