Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
