bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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