You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
