upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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