I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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