i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
