when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
