All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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