we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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