Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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