Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
