thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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