my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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