hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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