You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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