If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
