a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
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Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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