She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
