why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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