Where did you get a picture of my penis
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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