I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
