Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
