New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
