my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
