So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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