why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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