all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
third nipple confirmed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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