Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize