You're so nebulous sometimes
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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