I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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