Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
