i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
