Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
