so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
