This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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