i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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