Me too!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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