This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize