Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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