You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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