I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
