I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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