He uses pillows to masturbate.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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