Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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