singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
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I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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