We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
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Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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