He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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